Irlanda- lectie de maturizare

dublin-irlanda

Cel mai greu mi se pare sa rezum in cateva cuvinte o experienta care a marcat un pas important in dezvoltarea mea, care m-a ajutat sa cresc si sa fiu Flo de azi, care e total diferita fata de ceea ce am fost in urma cu mai bine de un an de zile.

Am sa fac tot posibilul sa impartasesc cele mai importante lectii pe care le-am invatat in minunata Irlanda.

Leadership: nu am sa incep sa vorbesc despre tot felul de lucruri legate de leadership, ci am sa impartasesc ultima lectie invatata. Leadershipul este un fel de compromis dintre lider si echipa sa, o relatie de reciprocitate, de adapatare, iar daca aceasta nu exista, atunci echipa nu are un lider, are un manager. Liderul este oglinda echipei sale si trebuie sa oglindeasca perfect dorintele si nevoile membrilor echipei. In momentul in care echipa ta iti urla din tot sufletul nevoile sale, lucrurile care ii motiveaza, iar tu alegi sa ignori asta si sa zici: “I don’t care, this is my style” si ca ei ar trebui sa se adapteze stilului tau, well, nu e un lucru prea bun si poate duce la distrugerea relatiei dintre voi.

Ambasador al tarii tale:  se stie ca strainii au o impresie extrem de proasta despre Romania, iar ceea ce am observat este faptul ca tot din cauza romanilor din afara se intampla asta. Si nu ma refer la actiunile unor persone care nu definesc adevarata fata a romanilor, ci din cauza “promovarii” gresite a tarii noastre de catre acestia. Da, Romania are multe probleme, dar ce tara nu are? Daca urasti Romania, fa-ne tuturor o favoare si stai in tara, leaga-te de pat sau de calorifer si stai tapan acasa, sau daca te decizi ca totusi vrei sa pleci, TACI sau du-te intr-o padure unde nu e nimeni in preajma si descarca-ti naduful, dar nu vorbi urat depsre Romania strainilor. Mai gandeste-te ca imaginea Romanaiei in afara se oglindeste in vorbele si actiunile tale si daca vrei sa fii tratat corect, atunci fi un ambasador bun al tarii tale.

Diferit: mda, toti suntem diferiti si speciali, prin urmare nimeni nu e diferit si special. STOP SAYING THAT YOU ARE DIFFERENT!!! Diferit a ajuns un cliseu, toata lumea zice asta despre ei insisi, dar actiunile si faptele nu denota asta.  Ce anume te face autentic? Ce te defineste numai pe tine? Te-ai gandit sa fii tu insuti? Este “la moda” sa copii, crezand ca asta te face “cool”. Bad news, you aren’t cool. Multi oameni isi doresc sa fie ca altii si in cele din urma isi pierd propria identitate, devin o copie ieftina, un fals. Fii tu, cu propriile tale pareri , cu propria ta personalitate. Fii cum vrei tu, nu cum vrea mama, bunica, vecina, fratele, societatea. Daca ma luam dupa mama, as fi fost doctorita, daca ma luam dupa vecina as fi fost maritata, daca ma luam dupa fratii mei, as fi fost…, milionara :), iar daca ma luam dupa societate, as fi fost un caine dresat. Be yourself, this makes you different.

To be continued!

Admit that you are AMAZING

When was the last time when you said that you are an amazing person? Some people are afraid of saying this or they are really good on putting themselves down. I was one of them and maybe sometimes I still am. And all of this is because it is easier to see the flaws first and you need somebody else to make you open your eyes and  see the good behind this.

Then comes the question: what you understand by being amazing? Each person has a different answer for this and sometimes it depends on how low or high are our expectations from us, other people or life.  And I think another important variable, let’s say so, is how much we are aware of our success or if we have emotional intelligence or not.

I have a friend who didn’t like to say that she is extraordinary in her work and she preferred for the others to not tell her this. And I was one of the people that was telling her this with each occasion when we were meeting because I recognize a talent when I see it and I like to tell everybody how awesome are the people in my life. One of the reasons why my friend was like this is because she didn’t want to become arrogant until one day when I made her realise that it is healthy to recognize yourself for your hard-work and for your results. I also told her to repeat every day that she is great and this helped her a lot in her work and daily life.

My advice for you: tell yourself each day that you are amazing and you will attract only amazing people and events around you. And stay positive

 

Giving up- not an option

Life isn’t good, life isn’t bad, it’s just the way it is.

One friend told me that 95% of people give up fighting when they are one step closer to what they really want. I am not good with statistics so I don’t know if it is true, but I know that sometimes you want to stop when you have another challenge in your way. You feel that you don’t have the power to go further, you are tired and you feel that everything falls apart. And it is sometimes so hard to talk with somebody, you try to ignore it and suffer alone. I know perfectly how this feels like and recently I was one of those who want to stop fighting for their dreams.

Bob Marley said: ” You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.”.

The only thing that we always forget is that we are not alone, it is always at least one person that wants and can help us from where you don’t expect it.  However, if we don’t try to help ourselves first, nobody will do it for us. And giving up is not an option, even though we are sick and tired, we have to find the power to go on and to make our dreams come true.

Remember, sooner or later everything will be alright, you just need to believe in this and to not give up.

Cum lucram unii cu altii?

In toata experienta mea de pana acum am lucrat in foarte multe echipe si de fiecare data principala provocare era sa ma adaptez la stilurile de munca si de personalitate ale coechipierilor mei.

Fie ca esti team leader sau membru intr-o echipa trebuie sa fii constient in primul rand de stilul tau personal si apoi sa fii constient de stilul celorlalti membri din echipa pentru a sti cum sa ii abordezi pe fiecare.

Sunt destule modele de personalitate si fiecare depinde de background-ul persoanei care l-a creat si fiecare are viziunea sa proprie. In cartea “6 obiceiuri ale celor mai eficienti manageri”, scrisa de Stephen E. Kohn si Vincent D. O’Connell am gasit modelul privitor la stilurile oamenilor creat de Robert Bolton si Dorothy Grover. Ei au clasificat stilurile oamenilor in functie de doi factori: asertivitatea si capacitatea de reactie. Cele patru stiluri sunt: Analitic, Determinat, Expresiv si Amiabil. In continuare ai o descriere pe scurt al fiecarui still si poate il vei descoperi si pe al tau.

Analiticii (capacitate de reactie mica, asertivitate mica):  perfectionisti, vor sa faca lucrurile ca la carte, sistematici, orientati catre sarcina, prudenti cand vine vorba de asumarea riscurilor, prefera munca solitara, loiali cand lucrurile merg prost, gandesc pe masura ce vorbesc,  prefera comunicarea scrisa, punctuali la intakniri, dar depasesc termenele limita.

Amiabilii (capacitate de reactie ridicata, asertivitate scazuta): oameni de echipa, evita confruntarile, sunt placuti si relaxati, tin cont de sentimentele celorlalti, pretuiesc lucrurile create si se lupta sa le pastreze,  nu spun lucrurilor pe nume pentru a nu-i indeparta pe altii.

Expresivii (capacitate de reactie ridicata, asertivitate ridicata): cel mai sociabil stil, le plac proiectele atragatoare,  vor sa fie in centrul atentiei, au o retea de cunostinte foarte mare, visatori, creativi, curajosi, impulsivi, prefera sa vorbeasca decat sa asculte, sunt orientati catre persoana, nu catre sarcina, spun lucrurilor pe nume.

Determinatii (capacitate de reactie scazuta, asertivitate ridicata): indepemdenti, fermi, capabili sa isi schimbe conceptiile foarte usor, au un ritm rapid si sunt axati pe scop,  pot excela in organizarea timpului, scurti si la obiect, pot intimida pentru a obtine ceea ce isi doresc, au o abordare faptica, dar nu amanuntita, sunt rationali, dar nu teoreticieni.

Daca ti-ai dat seama care e stilul tau, aici ai niste tips and tricks despre cum sa abordezi persoanele din toate cele patru stiluri.

Stilul Tau personal: Amiabil

Stilul personal al altei persoane:

  • Analitic: fii orientat catre sarcina, nu pune foarte mult accent pe sentimente, fii sistematic si bine organizat;
  • Expresiv: mareste ritmul, fii mai energetic, concentreaza-te pe imaginea de ansamblu, spune ceea ce gandesti, inlesneste autodeterminarea;
  • Determinat: mareste ritmul, fii mai orientat catre sarcina, fii mai formal si profesionist, treci la subiect, fii clar in ceea ce priveste scopurile si planurile,  recomanda solutii pragmatice;
  • Alti amiabili: ar fi indicat sa folosesti comportamente din stiluri diferite (opusele se atrag), unul dintre voi va trebui sa fie mai asertiv  si mai orientat catre sarcina.

Stilul tau personal: Determinat

Stilul personal al altei persoane:

  • Expresiv: stabileste o relatie personala, concentreaza-te pe sentimente, ofera-i recunoastere, comunica cu el pe aceasi lungime de unda, stai departe de elementele concrete, demonstreaza grija pentru latura umana, ofera-i o doza considerabila de libertate;
  • Analitic:  incetineste ritmul, asculta mai mult si mai bine, nu fi prea brutal, fii pregatit si exact, ofera detalii.
  • Amiabil:  creaza o legatura autentica, asculta mai bine si mai mult, fii incurajator, ofera structura, demonstreaza interes pentru latura umana;
  • Alti determinati: evita luptele pentru putere, negociaza mai mult, gaseste o metoda temporala de a fi mai putin asertiv.

Stilul tau personal: Expresiv

Stilul personal al altei persoane:

  • Amiabil: asculta mai mult si mai bine, nu fii prea brutal, fii incurajator;
  • Determinat: fii mai axat pe sarcina, nu pune foarte mult accent pe sentimente, planifica-ti munca si pune-ti planul in aplicare, evita luptele pentru putere;
  • Analitic: fii mai orientat catre sarcina, diminueaza accentul pus pe sentimente, fii sistematic si bine organizat, incetineste ritmul;
  • Alti expresivi: incearca sa introduci caracteristici ale celorlalte stiluri, unul dintre voi trebuie sa fie mai serios si mai axat pe detalii.

Stilul tau personal: Analiticii

Stilul personal al altei persoane:

  • Determinat: mareste ritmul, fii mai energic, nu te lasa prins in detalii si teorii, spune ceea ce gandesti, vorbeste in termeni practici,;
  • Amiabil: creeaza relatii autentice, fii incurajator, nu exagera cu logica si faptele concrete, ofera structura;
  • Expresiv: creeaza legaturi, fii cooperant cu spontaneitatea conversationala a acestuia, comunica pe aceasi lungime de unda, ofera-i un grad considerabil de libertate;
  • Alti analitici: incearca sa fii mai ferm, fa un efort pentru relatie, fii ingaduitor in ceea ce priveste greselile.

Acesta este un model din multe altele, trebuei doar sa faci un research si sa vezi care e mai pe gustul si intelesul tau. Ceea ce iti recomand este sa nu ignori faptul ca fiecare persoana are propriul sau stil de munca si de personalitate, iar cand lucrezi intr-o echipa este foarte important sa fii capabil sa iti adaptezi stilul pentru fiecare individ in parte.

Pe data viitoare!

Proud

This isn’t about me, this is about the people I love, this is about the ones that inspire me and this is about the people that make me the proudest person in this world.

Someone told me that only the boring people care about others and have friends and I prefer to be “boring” and to be happy in my boredom. To care is not a sin, to be happy for the success of others it is not hypocrisy and to see the beauty in every person it is not stupidity.

I won’t say why it is so great to help other person grow as an individual, I won’t say what impact can have in your life when you see that he is a better person with your help, doesn’t matter how small it is, but it matters a lot.

You can’t say you are proud of someone if you didn’t have an active role in his way of getting further.

Today I am proud of two great people, two people that I saw growing, making a lot of wonderful things and they still want to continue it. I wish you good luck, I wish you to accept the result how it will come and remember that all it will be how it has to be. I wish you to not give up, give the best of you and be a better version of yourself every day.

Mihai and Karinna, I was once team leader for each one of you, now I am your friend and you will have my support every time you’ll need it.

Good luck, guys. good-luck-comment-015

Leading for Growth Summit

The time wasn’t my friend in the last period and now I have to recover it. In the last posts I mentioned you about a leadership event, Leading for Growth Summit,  organised by JCI Dublin. A well, that event happened on the 9th of November, in a rainy and gray Friday in a nice place in Dublin.

It was a good event, especially for its first edition, organised by a big multicultural team. At the event came 9 great speakers, who shared their own leadership stories and some almost made the audience cry. I will try to summarize the things that I learned at this event.

The most important thing about being a leader is first to be able to lead yourself. The first thing you should do when you get out from the bed in the morning is to lead yourself.

The speaker that started this summit  was Mary Davis, Regional President and Managing Director of Special Olympics across Europe Eurasia and she talked about Ingredients For Strong Leadership.  May started her speech with this famous quote:  “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”. The first ingredient is to take action, do the things that you want, nobody will do it for you. The time is always right to do what is right. The second is to lead by example, be a role model for the people around you and be a source of inspiration. The third ingredient is the Golden circle: Why, How, What and the most important is the Why, if the people understand it, they will follow you. If you use only the What and How you will like somebody else, but if you first say and explain the Why this takes you one step further.  Another important thing in your leadership journey is how you handle your difficulties. A leader is an ordinary person with extraordinary determination.

The second speaker was Simon Bolger, who talked about Leading With A Purpose. Simon  leads the Europe, Middle East and Africa (EMEA) Online Partnerships Group at Google. The first thing you must do is to practice the basics. Earn the right to lead, have a view of the future and you have to know when to lead and when to follow. The second this is about awareness about yourself. Be present, listen and tune-in, understand your leadership style and know what you value. The last thing is about the purpose. Be yourself, be principled. Be purposeful, make a decision, then iterate.  Focus on the things that matter.

Tony Hefferman is the Founder & CEO of Bee For Battens, The Saoirse Foundation, Ireland’s National Charity For Batten Disease, he is also a Director of the Medical Research Charities Group & was recently elected as the 1st Global President of The Batten Disease International Alliance.  His subject was Social Leadership. Tony talked about the things that a leader must have and these are: the vision, focus, communication, drive, values and a strategy.  Be prepared to take risks and deal with the unexpected. As a leader it is crucial to know your team, to know their strengths and weaknesses  and to be aware of yours. Another important thing is to set challenges for you and your team because in this way you can develop more.

Another speaker was Andrew Keogh, a Presentations Consultant and Speaker. Andrew taught  us how to tell our stories. In tough times or times of change we must double the level of communication. This you can do through 4 steps: Connect, build relationships, create trust and connect to grow. Andrew talked also about changes. Today the change is acceptable, it is a journey that has to be explained, tomorrow the change will be the law of life.

The speaker that I liked the most is Caroline Casey, a social entrepreneur and Founder of the not-for-profit organisation Kanchi and its pioneering social franchise The Ability Awards.  The most dangerous leaders are the people taht dream and then are doing what they dreamed.  Caroline gave us some advices from her own experience: be an authentic self, don’t compare yourself with someone else, sometimes it is better to let it go if you see that you are not the right person to do it, be around people that believe in you and the most important thing, love what you do, it will make your life easier.

Another great speaker was Gerry Duffy and his topic was “Leaving Your Comfort Zone“.  Gerry’s’ sporting CV is filled accomplishments such as running 32 marathons in 32 days around Ireland as well as completing and winning the inaugural UK DECA Enduroman Ironman distance challenge in 2011.This ten day sporting challenge has been dubbed ‘The toughest 10 day Endurance Challenge in the World’. In his opinion, the ultimate success formula is this: “Decide what you want, take action, notice what is working and what is not, change your approach until you achieve what you want. It is very important to remember that the small keys open the big doors.

The other speakers were: PJ Timmins who talked about People Management, Theo Lynn, his topic was Social Media And The Science Of Persuasion and Johnny Walker who took us in a A Medical Entrepreneurial Experience.

As you can see, are as many theories about leadership as many people talk about it. We can learn a little bit of each other and to adapt it to our own style and preferences.

 

The Challenger

We all heard about the black sheep and we directly associate it with something negative.  But why? The black sheep is always the sheep that gets out of the crowd, you can’t ignore her, you can’t not notice her. I think this was the way that most of the people decided to face the ones that are not like them, in a good or bad way. Instead of  black sheep let’s call that person The challenger.

The Challenger is the kind of person that most of the weak leaders are afraid of and the kind of person that most of the great leaders are looking for. Why? Because The challenger take the things further, challenges the others, makes the other think more and, most of all, strives for success.

I met some challengers and what I noticed they all have in common is that they see the things how the others can’t see, they search for unconventional and most of them have a strong personality.

They are hated by their team workers until they are understood or, in the worst case scenario, they are hated for a long time. To have this kind of person in your team has advantages, but also can have disadvantages. The biggest disadvantage is that they are hard to control and to manage, especially if you don’t have their speed or if you don’t find a way to make them understand the “why?” behind everything you do or they have to do, or, if don’t gain their respect (this is the rarest case, but it can happen). Also, they can be really stubborn and they want to do the things only in their way. Here it is important to try to reach a compromise or to have very good arguments.

The advantage is that they strive for excellence,  they can have innovative ideas and they don’t give up until they get the results that satisfies them.  The challengers are motivated mostly by the success they brought for the team.  You could say that they have a key role in the team, by the way they are and by the things they can do.

Steve Jobs once said :

 “Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

Even though not all the challengers change the world, they strive for this.